1. “Your shoes are so cute, but they would smell better on your feet.” Tracy Christoph, a seasoned, Boston-based JetBlue flight attendant and travel blogger, notes that an airplane is no place for olfactory assaults.
2. “We love your child, but would appreciate if he didn’t use the flight-attendant call button to compose the next great symphony.” Before you take a nap and let Junior play freely, remember that someone like Christoph has to deal with the noise.
3. “You know, you do have the opportunity to select your seat in advance.” Not all airlines allow passengers to choose their seats before flights, but many do. A flight attendant who began her career 25 years ago with Pan Am and wants to remain anonymous (we’ll call her Pam) is baffled when tall people stuck in the middle seat beg for an aisle only after they’re on the packed airplane.
4. “We know our comfy leather seats and individual TVs make you feel like you’re on your couch, but we have some great hotel partners for those more intimate moments with your loved one.” Sure, travel is romantic, but there are far better — and more private — places for getting frisky.
5. “Why are you asking me that now?” It might be a request for a drink two minutes before takeoff or for the vegetarian option during meal service, but attendants get frustrated when passengers have bad timing or resist planning ahead.
6. “You can’t fit a 10-pound bologna in a 5-pound bag. Let me gate-check that for you.” It never fails: Someone’s always trying to slip a little more luggage onto the plane.
7. “What was it like being raised by wolves?” Pam says her parents always taught her to make requests with a “please” and respond with a “thank you.” But for some reason, too many passengers seem to check their manners at the gate.
8. “Compassion goes a long way.” All too often, a childless passenger ends up seated next to a parent with an upset, fidgety baby on a fully booked airplane. When Pam hears, “Can’t somebody shut that kid up?” she often wants to hand the child to the complainer and relocate the parent to first class with a tray full of drinks.
9. “So you’re mad because someone’s asked you to do your job?” Pam admits that sometimes it’s her fellow flight attendants who frustrate her, returning in a huff to the galley to complain about having to serve someone yet another Coke.
10. “I’ll be right back.” OK, this one is really spoken out loud. But Pam says this is a flight attendant code phrase for something a little more, let’s say, expressive — usually in response to an overly demanding, absurd or downright rude passenger request. Source http://travel.aarp.org/articles-tips/articles/info-10-2013/things-flight-attendants-want-to-tell-passengers.page.1.html
